Starbucks Manager.
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Post by Samnang Yun on Mar 10, 2019 22:25:18 GMT -8
"I guess I always just assumed you were quiet because you didn't really... care for anyone in the family. But it kind of seems now like it was actually the opposite." He looked up at the sky. "I kind of hate to admit it now, but I cannot think of a single memory we shared that doesn't have a picture of it. I don't know what may have caused it, but you never seemed like one of the siblings that was really 'there' for my childhood. But that's also kind of all of a blur, so I say that with a grain of salt."
He shrugged, finally looking back down after glancing to Devi. "I don't know. It's probably another one of Nicky's stories - which he apparently has an abundance of - but I always thought you were a playboy. So only one and a half seems like... very few."
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Dancer; Kindergarten Para.
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dating Kit.
01/09/1990.
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Post by Devi J. Yun on Mar 10, 2019 22:40:54 GMT -8
Devi blinked a few times, confusion obvious on his face. He asked, tone uncertain, "Who do you think babysat for you, and Nicky for that matter, at least ninety percent of the time from when you were born to when you hit middle school?"
He had spent a lot of time with Sam when he was small, partially because their parents were basically desperate to not have Sam throwing tantrums, and even though their grandparents had complained about Devi's bad influence, he'd been the person who could sit and play quietly with Sam. He'd just kind of listened and rolled with it when Sam told him things from a very young age. He asked, a touch of sadness over the memory, "You probably don't remember who first started calling you Sam, do you?"
The rest of the family had switched it over to Sammy soon afterwards because it matched with all the other names, Ricky, Kally, Devi, Sophie, Nicky, Sammy. But when Sam had cried and cried that everyone was calling him a girl name, and Devi had been already struggling with saying his name, he'd just started using Sam, and unsurprisingly, Sam had been happier with it. Devi sort of realized that a lot of those quiet memories were lost in Sam's haze of badness of the early parts of his childhood, but it hadn't really occurred to him that Sam didn't even remember him being in the room a lot of the time. Or that Sam didn't remember that Devi had switched to the right pronouns pretty much the second the therapist had explained gender dysphoria and Sam's being trans to the family. Things that had been formative memories for him, and that had given him a lot to think about, had not stuck with Sam.
Fishing for something that might have stood out more, he asked, very tentative, "Do you remember the tie? From holiday gifts?"
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Starbucks Manager.
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04/11/1996.
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Post by Samnang Yun on Mar 10, 2019 23:00:11 GMT -8
"I always thought it was Ricky..." Sam muttered, kicking at a rock in their path. He frowned at the thought of the lost opportunity to get to know his big brother better. Their age difference was just enough that he would never expect them to have been friends growing up, but it could have still been better than this. Sam was already 22 and just learning about his own sibling. "You started it?" He asked, regarding his nickname. He hadn't meant for the question to come out in the tone it did, and he made sure to soften his voice for the next sentence, "I always thought I just made it up naturally, because it was a gender neutral way to seemingly keep everyone happy while not having to hear my birth name..."
He was quiet for a moment as he tried to remember what tie Devi was talking about. "You mean the ones our grandparents brought from Cambodia? Kinda... Our sisters got something else, didn't they?"
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Dancer; Kindergarten Para.
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Post by Devi J. Yun on Mar 10, 2019 23:08:15 GMT -8
Devi half shrugged, and replied, "You hated it, and it wasn't like you didn't tell us why, and I couldn't even say your birth name. So I started calling you Sam when you were, like four. First time our grandmother heard me do it, I got yelled at for encouraging you, so I was determined that I'd keep calling you that because you liked it and she hated it."
Devi said quietly, "They got scarves. I, uh, swapped with you."
He wasn't sure how painful some of these topics of conversation might be, so he didn't want to push it too much, and he glanced away, watching Sam out of the corner of his eye, hoping that it wouldn't be too awkward. There were a lot of old family things coming out of this, and he glanced at his watch discreetly, he'd need to head back in in about fifteen more minutes, and then he felt like the moment would be lost. He wanted the chance to spend more time with Sam, and it was kind of gratifying to see Sam realizing that he did in fact care, a lot.
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Starbucks Manager.
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Post by Samnang Yun on Mar 10, 2019 23:22:13 GMT -8
Samnang let out a breathy laugh, "Sounds like something I would do, do something just to piss off grandmother." He paused, "then again, I guess just existing happily pissed her so... whatever." He mused aloud. "Honestly, I almost just changed my name to Sam. But I was also kind of jealous because all of you had Khmer names and then I had... nothing. So when I came across the name Samnang, I thought it was really convenient because I could keep my nickname without it being too much like my birth name." He paused again, his tone clearly more playful this time, "Unless you were the one to suggest the name Samnang, too."
"Oh... I take it the scarves were really... feminine? Or was I upset because my sisters got the same thing?" Devi hadn't mentioned he had been upset, but he could assume based off the tone he was using. "Why did you swap with me? Also when you mentioned wanting to be Kali. You're not like... trans also, are you?" His brother never struck him as such, even as they continued on in conversation he had a feeling that was a pointless thing to ask, but he figured he'd cover all his bases anyway.
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Dancer; Kindergarten Para.
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dating Kit.
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Post by Devi J. Yun on Mar 10, 2019 23:29:53 GMT -8
Devi shook his head and said, "Samnang you came up with all on your own, and it's an awesome name. Among other things, I can say it. Our parents may have overcompensated for the fact that I never quite understood that I had a non-Khmer name as a kid when picking exactly what to name the rest of you, or at least name order."
When Sam returned his questions to the scarf, Devi said, "At the time I thought it was really feminine, but I think that it was mostly that they only gave that to the 'girls.' I thought it was pretty, you looked upset, and can you imagine teenage me wearing a tie? We were both happier, and it meant that you didn't get scolded for being visibly upset about a present."
He was less startled about Sam's question about his own gender. He replied, "After the therapist explained to the family about you, I thought about it some. I'm not, though I brush the edges of genderfluid I guess? Definitely gender nonconforming. I have a rather disjoint relationship to gender in general. It makes me like how ambiguous a lot of traditional Cambodian clothes are. Kali was just older than me and cooler and liked a lot of the same things when we were little, and she always got the stuff like pretty clothes and makeup."
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Starbucks Manager.
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Post by Samnang Yun on Mar 11, 2019 9:11:07 GMT -8
"Really, is that what happened?" He chuckled a bit, he could see that happening, but he was curious now. "How did that come about? I mean, even Nicky got a Khmer name. And Sophea technically, too." He let out a short laugh, jokingly adding on, "I felt left out."
He nodded at Devi's explanation of his gender. That made sense. He laughed, "No, I really can't imagine you at any point wearing a tie."
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Post by Devi J. Yun on Mar 12, 2019 2:15:51 GMT -8
Devi shook his head, half smiling and said, "You know how Ricky and Nicky both have their 'American' names first? Mine was initially that way too. Five year old me could not understand that what's now my middle name was supposed to be me, so after a lot of arguing and seeing a few therapists about it, our parents switched mine around. Kali and Sophea both got very Euro passable sounding first names, but I guess that they never called Nicky by his Khmer name much as a little kid because of it."
Devi thought about it and told Sam, "I think that the last time I wore a tie, I was about ten. I managed to lose all of them after about then."
He checked his watch again and said, "I need to get back inside and start warming back up for the next round. Stick around though?"
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Starbucks Manager.
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Post by Samnang Yun on Mar 16, 2019 13:22:02 GMT -8
Samnang chuckled, "Ah... I see. That explains it, I guess. Mom and dad never really made a fuss when I chose my name, in fact they seemed happy I wanted a Khmer name." He crinkled his nose up, "But imagine if I had just chosen my middle name and gone with Eric? I don't see me as an Eric. Plus it would totally throw off our parent's nickname dynamic. Unless I went with like... Eri. Or something."
He laughed, "Managed to lose all of them, hmm? Sounds suspicious." He teased lightly. He chuckled after a couple moments, "I did the same to my dresses so I guess I can't tease you about that one too much."
Samnang nodded, though his smile fell slightly. He was surprised to actually be enjoying his time with Devi, he didn't want this personal time to end. Not yet at least. "Of course I will." He told his brother, smile coming back.
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Dancer; Kindergarten Para.
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Post by Devi J. Yun on Mar 19, 2019 3:02:08 GMT -8
Devi nodded and agreed, "Eric would have been... harder. You've been Sam so long."
He grinned a little sheepishly and muttered, "I just mixed them in with your and Nicky's ties mostly. But a few went in with dad's or Ricky's for good measure. And I gave my like last remaining one to a trans friend in middle school. I started out with a lot because our grandparents had unfortunate ideas sometimes."
Devi sort of awkwardly offered Sam a hug before he ducked back in to the locker room area, holding out his arms and feeling vaguely stork like. He waited to see how Sam would respond though, wanting to let his little brother set the comfort level with contact. He added, "Thanks, for you know, sticking around."
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Starbucks Manager.
Heterosexual.
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Post by Samnang Yun on Mar 24, 2019 9:11:12 GMT -8
Samnang nodded, letting out a laugh, "That explains why my tie collection seemed to continuously grow without me adding to it. I was beginning to think I was going crazy at times."
He reciprocated the hug, and as they pulled away from each other, he gave his older brother a smile, "Yeah, no problem. This has been a... a good opportunity. I look forward to the rest of your dances."
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