Tutor, Translator, Driver, and Assistant Manager at Dreams Ent.
Gay.
Dating Kangwan.
02/04/1999.
23.
Tiger (Korea)
Authored by Etienne.
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Post by Thomas Fan Qiwang on Mar 20, 2016 22:01:48 GMT -8
((Admin Note: The site's location has changed since this thread!!))Thomas had not had a good start to his day. He'd had to talk to Theo about the fights the night before, and because it was Mr. Lin recommending it, he'd tentatively agreed that he'd try therapy when Theo could find a place, but he didn't like the idea. It felt like he'd failed somehow. That morning, he'd woken up with the thought chasing itself around his head, Mom and dad would be so disappointed to see you fighting Thom.
He'd gotten to school, for early morning track practice, and things hadn't really gotten better. It was hand offs day, which meant he actually had to interact with some of his less than favorite teammates. They were good athletes, and they could work together for the sake of the team for the relay, but if he never had to talk to them again, it might be too soon. It didn't help that someone had seen him crying the afternoon before when he'd gone from Mr. Lin's office to the library. He'd barely even been crying still, but someone had noticed. For once though, he managed to hold his temper, probably because it was all actually about him, and he more than half thought that he deserved the words they were pointing at him, a seventeen year old boy crying, what a wimp.
It didn't mean that he was in a good place by the time he got to homeroom though, showered after practice and way more glad for the locking stall showers in the locker rooms than he really wanted to be. He didn't think that any of them would start something in the locker room, for one thing, there wouldn't be anyone there for it to be a show for, and he knew that part of the bullying was trying to make him look bad. He moped his way to his corner of the room, wishing that he still had an empty space beside him and rather glad that he'd beaten the guy, Kangwan, who sad next to him into class.
He put his head down on his arms, finding himself blinking back tears, mom and dad would be so disappointed, and he bit his lip, not wanting to be there and wondering if there was any way he could ask Mr. Lin to let him out of class so he could just go hide somewhere quiet. At least no one in the class really talked to him, though right then, he sort of wished that there maybe was someone who would actually wonder if he was OK, and not just to taunt him about it.
Kim Kangwan
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Idol - Vocalist/Songwriter / Seoul Cyber University Student (2025) Major: Applied Music.
Bisexual.
Dating Thomas Fan.
10/24/1999.
23.
Rabbit (Korea)
Authored by Redeim.
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Post by Kim Kangwan on Mar 25, 2016 12:40:38 GMT -8
Kangwan's days seemed to be rough and tumble when it came to his (as of yet undiagnosed) depression. He'd managed to avoid having to talk with his dad though, having eaten dinner with Jaeki and by the time he gotten home (because having a fellow native Korean speaker could make you stay at a coffee shop until it's 12pm closing), his dad was already asleep. He walked into homeroom feeling alright, but after speaking only Korean for 6+ hours, the more he was surrounded by his English-speaking peers (or more frightening, Spanish-speaking peers), the lower his mood got. His mind hurt enough at the lack of sleep, he didn't want to have to think in English for the next eight hours.
He slouched down in his seat, originally taking very little notice of Thomas. The guy barely talked to him, if anything to ask to borrow a various school item for the class period. Though he noticed the other boy's pose, and recognized it as something he probably did often. He bit his lip before sitting up a little more, consciously switching his minds to English. "Hey... Are you okay?" He asked under his breath, just loud enough so hopefully only Thomas would hear.
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Tutor, Translator, Driver, and Assistant Manager at Dreams Ent.
Gay.
Dating Kangwan.
02/04/1999.
23.
Tiger (Korea)
Authored by Etienne.
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Post by Thomas Fan Qiwang on Apr 5, 2016 10:52:36 GMT -8
Thomas was so surprised by Kangwan's tentative question that he actually looked up, blinking back tears from already somewhat bloodshot eyes. His voice caught in his throat for a second, but he eventually choked out just as quietly, voice cracking a little bit, "Not really."
He was surprised at himself for showing that sort of vulnerability, surprised that he didn't feel less horrible about himself for telling someone. He bit his lip, watching for disapproval from Kangwan, and trying not to pay attention to the sudden thought of, he's cute. Kangwan had no real reason to be nice to him, but at least it wasn't someone from one of his teams who had noticed, that would have only led to someone giving him a hard time later.
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Idol - Vocalist/Songwriter / Seoul Cyber University Student (2025) Major: Applied Music.
Bisexual.
Dating Thomas Fan.
10/24/1999.
23.
Rabbit (Korea)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Kim Kangwan on Apr 7, 2016 18:06:52 GMT -8
Kangwan lowered his gaze for a moment, feeling like he'd been subjected to something, but not able to place the feelings of finding the other man attractive. He just wasn't used to thinking about guys like that, even though he knew he did, sometimes. It had always been crushes on an unreachable sunbae though, never a fellow classmate in his homeroom. He frowned, "Is there anything I can do to help?" He asked, figuring he could guess the answer, but also figuring he'd ask it anyway.
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Tutor, Translator, Driver, and Assistant Manager at Dreams Ent.
Gay.
Dating Kangwan.
02/04/1999.
23.
Tiger (Korea)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Thomas Fan Qiwang on Apr 8, 2016 22:48:49 GMT -8
Thomas was so startled by the question that it caused the tears that had been threatening to spill for a while to start rolling down his face. He bit his lip, totally mortified and brought his hands up to cover his face, muttering from under them, "I-I don't know. I..."
He trailed off and the muttered, "Oh man, I really don't want to be in the class where people can see me right now."
Yunjin from the front of the class had noticed this exchange, and he tried to catch Kangwan's attention, since Thomas was clearly completely out of it, and motion that if he wanted to he could try to get Thomas out of there, mouthing in Korean, my office.
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Idol - Vocalist/Songwriter / Seoul Cyber University Student (2025) Major: Applied Music.
Bisexual.
Dating Thomas Fan.
10/24/1999.
23.
Rabbit (Korea)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Kim Kangwan on Apr 10, 2016 10:06:15 GMT -8
Kangwan caught Yunjin's attention at just the right time, nodding slightly and patting Thomas' shoulder softly. "Hey, we can go somewhere else, Mr. Lin says we can go to his office if you want." He said, his voice low, his hand still comfortingly on Thomas' shoulder. He bit his lip, he'd been in this position, but never in Yunjin's class, and with teachers who weren't as understanding.
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Tutor, Translator, Driver, and Assistant Manager at Dreams Ent.
Gay.
Dating Kangwan.
02/04/1999.
23.
Tiger (Korea)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Thomas Fan Qiwang on Apr 12, 2016 22:45:47 GMT -8
Thomas stared at Kangwan, surprised by the understanding he saw on the other boy's face, and he nodded tentatively, standing and letting himself be sort of led away. He was glad that they sat in the back of the classroom so that they didn't have to walk past everyone, where people might see that he had been, no he was, crying. When they were in the hallway, clear of other people since everyone was in their homerooms and not the hallways, he said, voice cracking a little bit around the fact that he was still crying a little bit and couldn't seem to stop, "I'm sorry, this is such a shit introduction, but thanks, um, I've had a kind of rough week. And I can't seem to stop crying right now dammit."
He rubbed at his eyes furiously, not quite looking straight at Kangwan as he pulled away, but glancing sideways at him. He knew the way to Mr. Lin's office, considering he seemed to have been spending a lot of time there recently, but he dragged his feet a little bit, wondering and finally asking, "Why are you helping me? I mean, I appreciate it, but I don't really know you, like at all."
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Idol - Vocalist/Songwriter / Seoul Cyber University Student (2025) Major: Applied Music.
Bisexual.
Dating Thomas Fan.
10/24/1999.
23.
Rabbit (Korea)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Kim Kangwan on Apr 13, 2016 22:57:22 GMT -8
Kangwan's right side of his lips curled up into an understanding smile. He shook his head softly, slowly, and patting Thomas shoulder before continuing to lead them to Yunjin's office. "Because... Well, let's just say I've had rough weeks too. I get it, it's okay. I figured you could use privacy as well as someone with you." He said simply, giving Thomas a nod. "And yeah, it's not always easy, but sometimes you just need to cry, and you'll feel better." He added reassuringly.
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Tutor, Translator, Driver, and Assistant Manager at Dreams Ent.
Gay.
Dating Kangwan.
02/04/1999.
23.
Tiger (Korea)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Thomas Fan Qiwang on Apr 13, 2016 23:32:46 GMT -8
Thomas was still sniffling when they got to Mr. Lin's office, and he was glad to duck inside it, where the familiar somewhat battered armchairs were and the just general nice smell of the fact that Mr. Lin always seemed to have tea brewing in his office. The room itself calmed him down a little bit because it was so like Mr. Lin. He plopped himself down in one of the two armchairs, glancing at Kangwan still sniffling and finally replied, voice cracking a little bit every few words, "It's just, thank you I guess, there's these guys who are supposed to be my b-buddies I guess because they've been on teams with me since freshman year, and they keep getting in fights with me, and just being jerks about everything imaginable, and then there's you, and I barely know you, and you're helping and being nice."
He chewed on his bottom lip and curled his knees closer to his chest. A little bit more of what Kangwan had said earlier processed and he asked tentatively, "You said that you'd had rough weeks, are you doing OK? I'd noticed that you weren't always there, and you speak Korean with Mr. Lin sometimes, and I don't want to pry because that would be rude, but you're helping me, and that means I should help you too. Plus, you seem nice, and well, nice."
He realized he was babbling when he had to repeat himself to avoid blurting the word 'cute' at the end of that phrase, and he bit down on his lower lip, worrying it between his teeth for a bit. He hugged his own knees, hoping that he'd not said too much or made things awkward somehow. The tears were finally starting to recede now that he was in a safe familiar space, but he still rubbed at his face with the back of his hand, wishing that he could just erase the crying.
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Idol - Vocalist/Songwriter / Seoul Cyber University Student (2025) Major: Applied Music.
Bisexual.
Dating Thomas Fan.
10/24/1999.
23.
Rabbit (Korea)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Kim Kangwan on Apr 16, 2016 20:47:53 GMT -8
Kangwan smiled softly, playing with the sleeves of his baby pink sweater (pink that matched his hair was kind of his thing these days). "Americans are so... how to say it?" He chewed his lip, trying to remember the word, but in the end somewhat failing. "There is a big importance on men being very much like men. Other countries, this isn't as important, so things like crying isn't considered a bad thing. It's strange, here, because you think someone is your friend, and the second you do something that is not normal, they tease you and don't seem very much like a friend." He realized he was rambling, and blushed a bit.
He looked back down to his sleeves, shaking his head a bit. "I don't mind. I'm okay right now, I think. Before I came here, and also why I moved in the middle of the year. I was in a band. It was very fun." He smiled a bit at the memory of his band mates. "But then my mom and brother died in a house fire. I tried to continue as normal, but it was too much. Every day I didn't get out of bed, didn't want to do much of anything. So I am taking a extended leave of absence from my band, until I feel better, at least. My dad... I live with him now, but he doesn't like to talk about it. He also never was okay with me being in a band. He disapproves of everything. I thought maybe, being with family would make it okay, but my unsupportive and... stifling dad doesn't make up for losing my mom and brother." He said. He bit his lip, letting it sink in a bit, before forcing a smile, "But you were the one upset today. Are you okay?" He asked sincerely, glad to see the other boy wasn't crying as much, if at all, now.
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Tutor, Translator, Driver, and Assistant Manager at Dreams Ent.
Gay.
Dating Kangwan.
02/04/1999.
23.
Tiger (Korea)
Authored by Etienne.
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Post by Thomas Fan Qiwang on Apr 16, 2016 22:31:41 GMT -8
Thomas eyes were caught by the movement of Kangwan fiddling with his sleeves, and he made a funny little sound in his throat, way more distracted by it than he should be, and stifling the mental note of cute before it made it's way out his mouth.
Thomas looked up at him in surprise though when he mentioned his mother and brother dying, and Thomas said very softly, "I know - I know what that's like. My parents died in a car accident about two years ago, and everything's still sort of a mess in my head about it sometimes. My older brother is technically my guardian, but we've sort of had to take care of each other, and I just end up feeling so guilty that I'm not living up to really who my parents wanted me to be. Because I was supposed to be the mature one, the one who'd carry on the family line, and have a good job, and well, not be getting detentions for getting in fights because I'm an idiot who over reacts when people say bad things about people I care about."
He bit his lip again, surprised a little bit by his outburst, but he looked up at Kangwan again through his bangs, not quite vocalizing the thought that a hug would be really nice. He could tell he was blushing again though, and something about Kangwan was just throwing all his reactions off because his brain was being weird.
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Idol - Vocalist/Songwriter / Seoul Cyber University Student (2025) Major: Applied Music.
Bisexual.
Dating Thomas Fan.
10/24/1999.
23.
Rabbit (Korea)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Kim Kangwan on Apr 18, 2016 9:40:12 GMT -8
Kangwan's eyes widened as Thomas' spilled his story, but smiled gently by the end of his words. They were oddly similar, despite how different their stories were. He shuffled over, giving Thomas an awkward hug, simply because he didn't know if the other boy would welcome the touch or not. "Um..." He began after a good minute, only just pulling away from him. He leaned against the desk, head bowed as his bangs also covered his eyes. "I think it's hard, when you know your parents had high expectations but you don't know how it would've changed as you grew. For me, my mom only made me make one promise, when I first joined a company, I had to promise her I'd still get a college degree. With that promise, she became really supportive." He hesitated a moment before continuing, "I never even got the chance to tell her... that I'm bi. I was going to, I was finally getting the courage, because she was always so supportive, I feel like she maybe wouldn't have minded." He glanced up for only a moment, "I can't say I know how you feel, our relationships to our parents are probably very different, let alone to our brothers. But I think... Even though I can't stand my dad, he's the only family I have left." He smiled bitterly, "So for that, I'm thankful I didn't lose everyone." He didn't know why he was rambling, or why he came out to practically a stranger, but ranting somehow felt like something to help ease Thomas' thoughts. It helped for him, sometimes, when he didn't want to think about something, to think about a million other things instead.
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Tutor, Translator, Driver, and Assistant Manager at Dreams Ent.
Gay.
Dating Kangwan.
02/04/1999.
23.
Tiger (Korea)
Authored by Etienne.
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Post by Thomas Fan Qiwang on Apr 18, 2016 22:50:46 GMT -8
Thomas stiffened up, startled and hoping that he hadn't accidentally spoken his thoughts, when Kangwan gave him a hug, but with a few moments to process what was going on, he leaned into the hug with a slightly choked little sob, feeling new tears spilling from his eyes. He didn't really know what to say, listening as Kangwan spoke, but he looked up at him, eyes widening though still a little bit filled with tears as Kangwan basically casually came out to him. He was surprised by how brave that was, that Kangwan was willing to be open like that to someone he had no reason to know wouldn't be awful about it to him.
He leaned a little closer to Kangwan again, and said awkwardly, "Thanks for telling me all of that, it's something that takes a lot of courage to tell. The emotional stuff, all of it. I can't even sort a lot of that stuff out in my own head nearly well enough to tell someone else like that."
His teeth caught in his lip and he blushed rather suddenly deeper than before, realizing as he heard his own words that he'd kind of just implied that maybe he wasn't straight either in his own words, and he wasn't ready to think about that, but Kangwan kind of made him want to think about that, and everything was confusing. He chewed on his lip, catching the slight tang of blood from it this time and flailed about for a moment for one of the napkins by the pastry box on Mr. Lin's desk muttering, "Oh crap, brilliant," as he held it up to his mouth to wipe off the blood that he managed to draw from chewing on his own lip too much. Such a useless nervous habit.
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Idol - Vocalist/Songwriter / Seoul Cyber University Student (2025) Major: Applied Music.
Bisexual.
Dating Thomas Fan.
10/24/1999.
23.
Rabbit (Korea)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Kim Kangwan on Apr 21, 2016 22:59:17 GMT -8
Kangwan kept his face low, feeling like his face was matching his hair at the moment, a part of him not even sure why he'd told Thomas. Still, he glanced up when Thomas swore, frowning slightly as he noticed the napkin turning red. "Are you okay?" He asked. He smiled weakly, "I uh... learned it's kind of a bad idea to bite your lip when you're upset." He said, a hint of a laugh on his voice. "I've done the same thing." He said, holding out another tissue for Thomas.
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Tutor, Translator, Driver, and Assistant Manager at Dreams Ent.
Gay.
Dating Kangwan.
02/04/1999.
23.
Tiger (Korea)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Thomas Fan Qiwang on Apr 25, 2016 9:56:53 GMT -8
Thomas looked up, managing a shy lopsided smile at Kangwan when he took the tissue. He said, "Thanks. I should know that it's a bad nervous habit, I tell myself that every time I manage this."
He dabbed at his lip with the tissues a little more, and pretty soon it seemed to be stopping. He added, "At least it closed up pretty fast."
He was finally starting to feel a little less unstable, and he slouched back into his chair, actually looking at Kangwan now. The other boy was around his age, but he was kind of tiny, and it made Thomas want to be all protective of him, but Kangwan was the one who'd been taking care of him really.
Thomas found his eyes drifting over Kangwan's features, and he was just kind of having the reaction of wow he's cute, and when it actually registered what he was thinking, he froze, looking pretty much straight at Kangwan and blushing harder than he had been the entire time.
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