UW Student (Class of 2028).
Gay.
Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
18.
Dog (WA)
Authored by Etienne.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Aug 1, 2024 0:34:40 GMT -8
Yeowoo perked up at the mention of the birth certificate. When Xander leaned in closer to him, he tentatively wrapped an arm around Xander's waist, tensing just a little bit, ready to back off if he was reading the interaction wrong.
He said, "I mean, I can one hundred percent help you with the birth certificate! Now I'm curious too if you're ok with me seeing it. I wonder if we're from near each other or like absolute opposite ends of the country."
He thought about what Xander had said, and he replied carefully, "I mean, there's lots of people who don't keep their original language if they emigrate really young, and it used to be really common for diaspora families to not have their kids learn anything other than English so that they could integrate more easily. That's less a thing now than it used to be. But that means there are lots of fully ethnically Korean people around who don't speak the language or only have little bits of it. You aren't the only one, and I feel like it's pretty common for adoptees too."
He hesitated and added, "I think that it sucks when people lose connection to a part of who they are, especially when it wasn't something they chose, but that just happened to them. Like I wish for you that when you were younger, adults in your life had been able to give you that option? If you'd decided you weren't interested in maintaining it as you got older it would have been your choice, but you didn't get to choose it."
Yeowoo stumbled to a halt and hoped that what he had said made sense. He really wanted Xander to understand that he wasn't encouraging him to learn more about his background because he thought there was something wrong with Xander for not knowing, but because he felt like it was something that had been taken from Xander, especially now, knowing more about Xander's background than he had that morning.
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
Bisexual.
Single.
07/15/2004.
20.
Sheep (WA)
Authored by Redeim.
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Post by Xander Pace on Aug 2, 2024 13:35:12 GMT -8
Xander thought a moment, quiet as he pulled his arm up and wrapped it lightly around Yeowoo's shoulders, squeezing him for a second to get a hug. "I guess that makes sense." He said simply. He hadn't really thought about people that moved during the diaspora, or other adoptees. He knew they existed, but he had never knowingly met one.
He hesitated for a moment before clearing his throat and saying softly, "we can go look at the birth certificate now. I keep it in my room, so I know where it's kept." He tried not to think about how he had just rolled out of bed that morning and hadn't cleaned his room. His parent's friends always talked about how clean he was compared to their kids, so he never really got bothered about cleaning up - his parents knew he'd do it eventually. And his parents usually worked later than this, so he wasn't worried about having to have any awkward conversations about them finally getting to meet his new friend. "If you've got time, that is. I can drop you off at home after." He offered. He was trying to hide how much he wanted to know what was on his birth certificate, but felt like he sounded anxious and excited.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
Gay.
Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
18.
Dog (WA)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Aug 2, 2024 21:35:49 GMT -8
Yeowoo leaned his head on Xander's shoulder when Xander wrapped his arm around him in return, having been given tacit permission to cuddle a little. This was nice.
At the mention of going and looking at the birth certificate now, Yeowoo's head popped back up so he could look at Xander excitedly, "I've got nothing to do the rest of my afternoon, and I'd love to, I'm both super curious and want to help you!"
He laughed a little and turned to take a bite of his ice cream, saying, "We should probably finish this first before it gets meltier. But then we can go as soon as you're ready. I don't mind staying out here with you a little longer, but I'm excited to discover things!"
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
Bisexual.
Single.
07/15/2004.
20.
Sheep (WA)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Xander Pace on Aug 3, 2024 12:40:37 GMT -8
Xander smiled and showed Yeowoo his empty ice cream cup. "I kinda devoured it." He said. He scooped up a little melted ice cream and kept the spoon in his mouth after.
He waited for Yeowoo to finish his ice cream before gently taking it from the smaller boy, and quite reluctantly got himself to let go of him and throw away the trash for both of them, finally letting go of the spoon to throw it away. He put his hands in his pockets, one of them holding his car keys, and returned to Yeowoo. "Shall we go, then?" He asked, tentatively offering a hand for Yeowoo to hold. He was excited this was actually happening, and was trying not to show it. He felt like he was only partially succeeding.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
Gay.
Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
18.
Dog (WA)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Aug 3, 2024 18:49:16 GMT -8
Yeowoo happily linked their hands together when Xander offered his hand, and he didn't particularly hide that he was enjoying himself, squeezing Xander's hand a little and saying, "I've not been to your place before. You're the first friend whose house I'm visiting since I moved to the states."
He smiled up at Xander, a tiny bit of uncertainty entering his voice, "Do you think your family members will be there? Will I make a good impression?"
He was dressed tidily that day, but he hadn't been expecting to meet anyone's parents, just to seem responsible to his IEP coordinator. He paused and added, "What is your family like?"
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
Bisexual.
Single.
07/15/2004.
20.
Sheep (WA)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Xander Pace on Aug 4, 2024 11:20:10 GMT -8
"Oh, really?" Xander said, a bit surprised. He wondered for a moment if Yeowoo even had any friends at his last school, but didn't know how to ask it in a way that didn't sound derogatory, so he kept quiet. Instead, he swung their hands lightly, heading back to his car.
"My family shouldn't be there, but there's a chance they will be. My mom has been staying late to work on report cards, and my dad is a paralegal, so he often works 8-5 and then takes a while to get home." He explained. He left out the part where sometimes his mom took her work home with her, and sometimes his dad worked remotely. He hoped they hadn't decided to do that today. He thought over the rest of his siblings. "Uh, my older sister now lives in Seattle, so if she's there, there's something planned I didn't know about, or she needs something. My younger sister and brother have after school programs that last until about 6, they usually get picked up by my dad on his way home from work." He explained. He unlocked his car and got in, trying to think of how to explain what his family was like.
"My siblings and I all have the common factor of having our mom as our second grade teacher. She's really detail-oriented, and knows when something is up, so instances like my previous family are quickly obvious to her." Part of the reason he hoped she wasn't there today was because she would immediately notice he had feelings for Yeowoo and wouldn't let him go until he told her.
He started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. "I'm not as close to my dad, but he's a good guy." He said, focusing hard on the road. "Some things in my past make it difficult for me to get close to men, but he's really understanding about it and bonds with me on my terms, so I really appreciate him." He looked over to Yeowoo momentarily, continuing on, "My older sister and I didn't get along at first, because she was also adopted, but was the only child for a long time, and she was upset about it. But we get along now. And my younger siblings are about ten years younger than me, so it's a bit hard to connect with them, but we have some things we can bond over."
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
Gay.
Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
18.
Dog (WA)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Aug 5, 2024 21:40:19 GMT -8
Yeowoo listened to Xander's explanation attentively. He was a bit sad to have to separate their hands to climb into the car, but overall, he was a tiny bit giddy at the cuddling and hand holding. He really was starting to suspect that Xander was interested too.
He said, "Here in Cedar Beach, it's just me living with my parents, but I have four older siblings. My nieces and nephews, my oldest sister's kids, are a little older than your younger siblings, though they're back in Korea. I do have some experience with kids that age though."
He paused for a moment and said, "I'm not close to all of my siblings, so I get how age differences can be weird. My oldest brother is twenty-four years older than me, so I never really got to know him as a kid because he was weirded out by people thinking I was his kid if he took me places when I was little."
He added, "I'm closest to my oldest sister though, Yeomi-noona, the one with the kids. She's seventeen years older than me, and she took care of me a lot when I was little. Her kids are kind of like little siblings to me in some ways. She's actually the first person I ever came out to, even though I was already in Texas by then, but we talked on phone and video calls all the time."
He continued, "I'm not close to my other older brother at all either, he really resented me when I was little, even though he's thirteen years older, and we had a really rough relationship before he moved out of the house, and now we just kind of ignore each other. The oldest three didn't come with us to the US, so ignoring him is really easy now."
Finally, he said, "The oldest sister closest to me in age, Yeori-noona, I wasn't close to until we were in the states, though we were always fine with each other. She stayed in Houston, she's a nurse there, but I spent a lot of time with her once we moved here because I never really made friends or got comfortable with people in Texas."
He glanced over at Xander and said, "I'm kind of relieved though that I'm not going to need to put on my best face for grown ups probably, though it sounds like your parents are pretty cool. I would want to prepare you to meet my parents for sure if you were coming over to my place."
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
Bisexual.
Single.
07/15/2004.
20.
Sheep (WA)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Xander Pace on Aug 6, 2024 11:20:13 GMT -8
Xander wondered for a moment what it would be like to be thousands of miles away from his family, it was weird to think about, and he hadn't even had this family for the majority of his life yet. "That must have been difficult. I'm glad you've at least got a couple siblings you're close to." He replied simply. He was appreciating this equal exchange of information they were sharing. It somehow felt less exposing that way. "I've heard horror stories about Texas, though I've never been there myself." The foster family he had that led to his only time on the east side of the state had been from Texas, and moved there to be with family after a natural disaster ruined their home. They had the Southern Hospitality down to an art, but weren't exactly nice people. The foster sibling he had while in that family had been in the closet when he was little, and said Texas was the worst place to be gay. He had probably been exaggerating some, but Xander wasn't about to discount the foster sibling's experiences.
He realized he had been quiet for a lot of the ride back to his place when he turned onto his home street. "Um, there is a chance they'll be there, but it's not super likely..." He told Yeowoo, adding in an almost silent, "hopefully." He looked at the driveway as soon as it came into view, relieved to see there were no cars in the driveway. He parked and took a deep breath before looking to Yeowoo and smiling, "Well, we're here."
He got out of the car and waited for Yeowoo before going in. The house was large, but not to the point of being overwhelming, and it looked pretty lived in despite it clearly being cleaned often. He led Yeowoo into his room, one of the smallest - his choice - it was very clean minus the unmade bed. Xander went over to his bookshelf - nicely sorted with a couple knickknacks in front of some of the books, and pulled out a binder where he kept important documentation. He pulled out the only document he had in Korean and handed it to Yeowoo. "This is it."
((OOC: Reminder his birth name is in his bio, and I believe we discussed them being born in the same hospital.))
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
Gay.
Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
18.
Dog (WA)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Aug 7, 2024 13:40:16 GMT -8
Yeowoo thought about it for a moment and said, "I think it would have been easier to be close to my siblings, but even worse if we weren't, if I'd been closer in age to them, but I'm a lot younger."
He added with a chuckle, "And the worst might be an exaggeration, and I've heard there are lots of areas like a lot of Austin, parts of the other big cities, where being queer isn't really a big deal, but we were in a little suburban town just outside of one of the big cities that my parents picked because it was near where my dad's job was and was supposed to have really good schools."
Yeowoo was a little nervous as they reached Xander's home, but relieved when it became clear that they were the only ones there. As they reached Xander's room he said softly, "You have a nice house, and a nice room."
He was excited for looking at the birth certificate, fidgeting a tiny bit as Xander got it out. He looked at it, and upon registering the Hanja for the name immediately let out a tiny huff of laughter. He said, "We have a Hanja, um, the characters with meaning that come from Chinese, in common in our names."
He showed the name part to Xander and said, "This one, your whole birth name was Lee Yeohyeon. The Yeo means 'to grant,' and the Hyeon means 'existing.' So together it's probably supposed to mean something like your existence being a gift or something given."
He paused looking at the next part and said, "Well, they may have given you an unusual and recognizable name, but if you wanted to look for your birth parents, the names aren't going to help you. They're so very common, Lee Seongmin born May 3, 1986, for your dad, and Kim Jieun born August 4, 1986, for your mom. Like, I had one year where I had a teacher and two classmates with your dad's name in my little private school class when I was still in Korea levels of common."
He almost commented on how young they had been, but figured it was probably better to let Xander steer that part of the conversation. Then he found something else that stole his attention, "Holy shit, we were born in the same hospital, not just that, we had the same delivering doctor. Weird! You were born in Daejeon. It's further south than Seoul but not all the way south. It's kind of a tech capital of Korea."
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
Bisexual.
Single.
07/15/2004.
20.
Sheep (WA)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Xander Pace on Aug 7, 2024 14:20:21 GMT -8
"Oh, wild." Xander replied about them having the same hanja. He was tumbling his Korean name in his head. It sure was unique. Based on the name's meaning, he wondered if his parents wanted him. Their birthdays registered next, and he realized they were teen parents. Did they want him and his biological grandparents make them give him up for adoption? It went against the story he had made for himself, though looking at it now, it was possibly due to trauma he had made up that story in the first place. But really, he wanted to think his bio parents didn't want him. After everything, it made it easier. If his bio parents had wanted him but gave him up because they were told to, or worse, were forced to, it made him angry and his chest hurt. If they hadn't had to give him up, he would've been done with school by now. He would know Korean, would know his heritage.
His attention returned to the present when Yeowoo swore. "Wow, that is a weird coincidence!" He agreed. "Daejeon?" He said, trying to mimic the way Yeowoo had said it. He leaned against his desk, arms crossed. He was chewing on his bottom lip slightly, and he was looking off into the distance. "What's Daejeon like? I know you haven't been there in a long time, but like, what do you remember?" He asked, looking at Yeowoo for just a moment. He wondered for a moment suggesting they go visit someday, but something caught in his throat before he could even think about that further.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
Gay.
Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
18.
Dog (WA)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Aug 7, 2024 14:44:22 GMT -8
Yeowoo looked up to see Xander going through a lot of different emotions. He started to ask if Xander was OK, but before the question could fully form, Xander asked him about Daejeon.
He decided that he would answer the question first, but he was definitely still going to check in. He pulled out his phone and opened the album of pictures from his eldest sister, and said, "I was 10 when we came to the States, so my direct memories are childish, but my sister sends me pictures pretty often, though a lot of them have her kids in them, so like you'll see my nieces and nephew a fair bit in these."
He turned his phone enough so Xander could see, and started flipping through the photos. He said, "Daejeon is a major city, and it's a rail hub and a major center for research and technology. So there's a lot of high tech big city vibes, but it's also got a lot of nature through the city and a lot of nature around the city. It's surrounded by mountains and there's three rivers that go through the city."
He paused on a picture and said, "This is the Children's Science Museum at the Expo Science Park, I went there a ton as a kid. There's some really good museums, and I guess museums are good enrichment in a controlled environment for a kid who was sick a lot."
As he got to the end of the album, he glanced at Xander and added, "I'm happy to answer any questions I can about Daejeon. How are you doing though? It seems like that might have been a lot of new information."
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
Bisexual.
Single.
07/15/2004.
20.
Sheep (WA)
Authored by Redeim.
Offline.
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Post by Xander Pace on Aug 7, 2024 15:52:47 GMT -8
Xander looked through the photos. It seems like a pretty place. Maybe similar to Seattle, even. Yeowoo's nieces and nephew were cute, too. He tried to imagine going to those places, but didn't really have a frame of reference for it, and it made him sad. "I guess I just.. You don't just... give a kid a name like that if you don't want them, do you?" He looked down, one hand scratching absently at the desk. He didn't expect Yeowoo to have an answer, but he probably did have more knowledge about naming culture in Korea.
"I made up this idea that my birth parents didn't want me, and so to know they were teens who gave me a name like that, it kind of skews the entire story I created about why I was put up for adoption at birth." He paused and took a quiet but shaky breath. "Now I'm imaging what my life could have been like. Would it have been better? Worse? The same? It's things I've wondered before, but now I know just a little more about my birth parents and can't help but think about it in a different light." He glanced up at Yeowoo, feeling vulnerable as he whispered, "Is it okay if I hug you?"
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
Gay.
Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
18.
Dog (WA)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Aug 7, 2024 19:32:26 GMT -8
Yeowoo was opening his arms for a hug before Xander even quite finished the question. He wrapped his arms around Xander, trying to be firm and comforting but not restrictive and nestled his cheek against Xander's shoulder.
He said, "I don't think that's the name you give to a kid you totally didn't want. Maybe they were pressured into giving you up, that wouldn't surprise me from a social and cultural standpoint, maybe they didn't feel like they had the resources to give a kid care and they thought that they were doing the best for you. If you decide to seek them out at some point, which even with their hard to find names, I'm sure there are ways, you could ask."
He sighed and said, "It would have been different, that's a lot of what ifs though. And we don't have a way to change what happened, all we have power over is the future. Though maybe we would have met each other either way. Your birth parents probably would have had a rough time of it, and that might have transferred onto you in uncomfortable ways. I do feel like with that name, they probably would be open to you trying to reach out to them if that's a thing you wanted to do. I don't know exactly how one goes about that, but I'm sure there are pathways. We could do research if that's a thing you wanted."
He hesitated and then added, "Also learning more about your birth family doesn't make your family that you have that cares for you and was here in any way less yours. Your birth parents are a part of your history, but they're not who has been here and chosen you all this time. Even if maybe they wanted to keep you. You have no obligations to them."
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
Bisexual.
Single.
07/15/2004.
20.
Sheep (WA)
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Post by Xander Pace on Aug 7, 2024 21:06:42 GMT -8
Xander held Yeowoo tight, burying his head against the boy's shoulder. He wasn't about to cry, at least not now. Maybe later, in the dark, when he was alone with his thoughts and it was easier to think on the past than look to the future. He let Yeowoo go before it felt too awkward, and he still felt like he had held on too long. He let out an awkward chuckle, "that was... inspirational. Thanks." He said awkwardly, still not quite looking at Yeowoo. He wasn't sure if his parents had his adoption papers, or if it had been lost in the shuffle, but maybe that would be where he could start. Theoretically, the adoption agency could tell him how to find them. What would he do if he did find them? Did he want to find his birth family? A million thoughts were running through his head, but he tried to shove them aside and focus on the now. He didn't want to make Yeowoo feel bad for helping him, after all.
He cleared his throat before properly looking to Yeowoo. "No, like, really. Thank you. It's been a mystery for so long and I honestly never though to just... ask someone who could read Korean. I have a lot to think about, and I think I would appreciate the help with research. I'm going to ask my mom if she has my original adoption papers. That at least might lead us to which company to contact, and that might be more helpful than their names and birthdays." He still didn't know if he even wanted to contact his birth parents, but just having the option sounded nice.
He gave Yeowoo another hug, not hearing the front door open. His mom, Heather, had noticed Xander's car in the driveway, and was just going to say hi to him when she saw him hugging someone else. "Hello, Xander. And Xander's... friend?"
Xander jumped back, and noticed his mom seemed to immediately notice that his birth certificate was out. "Mom! Hi, um," He turned bright red, looking at the time, "you're home early." He motioned shakily to Yeowoo, "this is Yeowoo. He came over to help me read my birth certificate. So I was really thankful..." He said, trailing off, feeling like his face must have been bright red.
Heather smiled warmly, "Hello, Yeowoo - did I say that right? - It's always nice to meet friends of Xander's. Are you the one that transferred earlier this year? Xander mentioned his friend group picked up a transfer student." She paused for a response before continuing, seeming to address her son, "I'm so glad you finally got someone to help you with that, I know it's something that has been bugging you."
"Um, yeah..." Xander replied, still looking at the floor, his face still felt warm. "I really appreciated his help."
"So you know your birth name now, then, right?" Heather asked excitedly.
"Uh, yeah, it was Lee Yeohyeon. It means like, my existence is a gift, basically." Xander said, still embarrassed, but surprised by the change in subject. Normally his mom didn't let him off the hook that easily, and she'd never walked in on him hugging another friend.
"Oh, that's so lovely." Heather said, turning to Yeowoo, her features were soft and kind, "Thank you for helping him."
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
Gay.
Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
18.
Dog (WA)
Authored by Etienne.
Offline.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Aug 7, 2024 22:33:36 GMT -8
Yeowoo took a few moments longer than Xander to process the situation, his hand lingering on Xander's back. He switched into charming strange new adults mode as soon as he did process though, hands curling together primly in his lap, tilting his chin down a little bit so he could look up through his lashes. He was relieved he'd worn something a little clean cut since he had the appointment that day.
Yeowoo's voice was soft as he said, "Yes, Yeowoo, that's right. And yes, I'm the one who transferred in in February."
He hesitated and added, "I'm glad to be able to help. Xander's a good friend, and reading a little Korean was not hard."
He looked at Xander, uncertain what to do next. He didn't want to impose, and they were definitely both blushing now.
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