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Post by Xander Pace on Jul 22, 2024 16:34:31 GMT -8
((This thread takes place in early June 2022.)) Xander couldn't stop staring at his schedule after he was handed it. It was a lighter load, at least, but one thing bothered him: Physics .... Dana Cooper. He had Mrs. Cooper this year, and she had a sort of organized chaos that, at the beginning of the year, didn't ping his anxiety too much. But now it was the end of the school year, and her clutter was all over the classroom, and he was struggling to attend her class in recent weeks. She was truly a lovely teacher and he had nothing against her when it came to teaching, he just wished she could be a little more organized. He used her class time to go to the IEP Office, and knocked on the door. The IEP Coordinator opened it and seemed to look at the clock before telling him to come on in. Xander shut the door behind him and held up his schedule. He tried to keep his voice even, but noticed his hand was shaking slightly, "Mx. Cooke, I cannot have Mrs. Cooper next year." "I was wondering, aren't you supposed to be in her class right now?" Mx. Cooke asked, pulling up his current schedule and nodding. "I'm happy to write you a pass for this class period, but what's going on?" Xander noticed they kept looking at the clock. "Mrs. Cooper is really nice but so disorganized. Yesterday I tried to attend her class and had to leave the classroom multiple times because I felt like I was going have a panic attack." He explained. It was only a little bit of an exaggeration, he was definitely antsy and fidgety and couldn't focus anymore when in her classroom. "I can not have her again next year." He stressed, shaking his new schedule a bit. The IEP Coordinator motioned for him to hand the schedule over, and Xander did has he was told, placing it in their hand. Mx. Cooke looked it over and nodded, "Okay, that's fair. We like you being able to attend class." They looked on their computer and clicked on a few things, and then rolled over to their printer. "Alright, you're lucky you've gotten through the required science already, I just got rid of it, and before you protest, you've met the requirements to graduate, and having a smaller schedule does not impact varsity - did you make it into varsity basketball, by the way?" "Uh... Yeah." Xander replied, a little dumbfounded. He looked at his new schedule, now with a free fifth period. With having second lunch as well, that would be a nice long break where he could work on his homework. Or sleep. "Congratulations." "Thanks?" Xander replied in the same tone as his previous comment. "That's it? Its that easy?" "It would've been more complicated if you needed the class to graduate, because she's the only Physics teacher we have. But yes, it is that easy." They wrote the note for Xander, adding another to let him study in the library for the rest of the period. "Now, what are you going to do for the rest of this year? We can't have you playing hooky until the last day of school." "I have anti-anxiety meds I can bring to school with me and take before her class. It should at least help." Xander said hesitantly. He had only just gotten them at his therapist's recommendation, mostly for better sleep since he still had frequent nightmares. But she did tell him how many times he could take it in a day if he needed, so he could probably bring it with him with no negative consequence. Mx. Cooke looked at him, seeming unsure of his solution, but sighed, "Alright, you will have to let the office know you're carrying the medicine, but you're 18 so you should be able to keep it on you, at least. Please come to me before you try skipping next time, okay? It's a little late to change much now, but I'll have a talk with her, too -" They quickly redirected as Xander got a look of panic, "I won't mention you, don't worry." They stood up and walked to the door, "Now, I've got a student with an appointment I need to help. Did you need anything else?" Xander shook his head, muttering a thank you. Mx. Cooke was very friendly and extremely efficient, but sometime he felt like they had a steamroller for a personality. He stood up, folding up his new schedule and tucking it into his pants pocket, before heading out the door, surprised to see Yeowoo was the apparent appointment. "Uh... Hi Yeowoo..." He said awkwardly. (Tags: Yeowoo Eum ) |
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Dating Xander.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Jul 23, 2024 22:55:53 GMT -8
Yeowoo had been on edge for the last part of the school day. He had a meeting with his IEP coordinator since it was the end of the school year and they wanted to go over the schedule he'd gotten that morning for next year. He was glad his coordinator was fine with meeting after the end of the school day so he wasn't going in during class and drawing attention to himself, but these meetings still always made him nervous. He didn't know his coordinator super well either, since he'd transferred to the school partway through the year.
Then Xander had vanished partway through Chemistry, and he'd seemed off kilter, and Yeowoo was worried for him. He hadn't gotten a chance to message his friend yet, and when he saw that his coordinator was meeting with someone he reached for his phone, aiming to do that while he was waiting. Before he could manage it though, his coordinator opened the door, and Yeowoo was faced with Xander emerging from the office he was about to go into.
Yeowoo almost panicked, he'd not wanted anyone to see him going to this appointment, but then he realized that if Xander was coming out of the same office, they'd been hiding the same kind of thing from each other. He tried to convey a gentle smile from behind his mask and he said softly, "Hi Xander, I was worried when you left Chem early, you OK?"
He hesitated and added quietly, "I should only be about 15 minutes if you want to hang out after?"
He couldn't linger though, and he nodded at Mx. Cooke, heading into their office. Mx. Cooke spoke once they were through the door, "I looked at your schedule and it looks like they have your classes reasonably well clustered, and no PE. Any concerns?"
Yeowoo hesitated and then said, "Do you know how well ventilated the art room is? I might want to see about switching to a different elective that would fulfill the same requirement if it gets stuffy sometimes because I know I had a problem a few times at my old school. Otherwise it looks good. Am I reading it right that I'll mostly be with seniors next year?"
Mx. Cooke nodded, "It means that your senior schedule will be a little weird, but you've got the academic record that we can jump you right into the AP versions of some classes to be with mostly seniors to cover those requirements."
They glanced at their computer and said, "I could put you in media studies instead of art if you'd rather. I don't have a good answer about the art room."
Yeowoo nodded, he'd heard good things about that class and said, "Let's do that then."
They changed a few things and printed out his new schedule, then said, "You've been good about emailing me when things come up, and your grades are excellent. I'm not worried for your schedules through the end of high school."
Mx. Cooke waved him out of the room twelve minutes after he'd gone in, and as he stepped out into the hall, he looked around hesitantly for Xander.
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
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Post by Xander Pace on Jul 24, 2024 11:02:13 GMT -8
Xander was still getting over the shock of seeing Yeowoo go into the office. A part of him was embarrassed, and a bit ashamed, that Yeowoo caught him at the IEP office, but he reminded himself Yeowoo had an appointment, so he also had an IEP he hadn't disclosed sooner, so at least they were on even footing when it came to that. He managed to get out a, "yeah" and an "ok" before Yeowoo had shut the door, and it took him a minute to snap out of his daze.
He realized belatedly the bell had rung just as he was leaving the office, so he really didn't need the permission to study in the library, but he ran over to Mrs. Cooper's room and handed her the pass, apologizing for leaving the class so suddenly. She told him it was okay, and gave him the homework for that evening. He went back to the office, waiting slightly away from the IEP office, but where he could still see the door.
He didn't have to wait long, probably about two minutes after he arrived, he saw Yeowoo stepped out, and he waved the boy over, "hey, over here." He called to Yeowoo. He hesitated on what to say, feeling that embarrassment bubble up again, or maybe it was nerves, he wasn't sure, but Yeowoo had been causing them lately. Not intentionally, Xander was pretty sure it was a crush. "Uhm... He cleared his throat. "Do you want to get a snack together? I feel like... We maybe owe each other a chat?" He offered hesitantly.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
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Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Jul 24, 2024 19:27:52 GMT -8
Yeowoo was startled by how nervous he was when he saw Xander waiting. He wasnt surprised, shouldn't be, but he also hadn't been sure that Xander wouldn't just run off. Xander had been meeting with the IEP coordinator himself, so he would hopefully at least understand where Yeowoo was coming from about wanting to sort of have it stay under the radar.
He processed that Xander seemed anxious himself, which was actually somewhat reassuring. He nodded to Xander's suggestion and said, "I've heard from like five people this week that there's an ice cream cart down at the beach that's open for the summer now and I'm curious about it. I feel like there'd be space to talk privately there too on a weekday afternoon."
He tried to sound calm and reassuring, but he was pretty sure that he'd hit closer to quietly nervous. He added, "I'd love to get a snack with you, and I'm open to other options, that's just the first thing that I thought of."
As he turned towards the parking lot, where he assumed Xander would have his car, he gently bumped their shoulders together and said softly, half to himself, half trying to reassure Xander, "We're both going to be just fine."
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
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Post by Xander Pace on Jul 24, 2024 19:53:29 GMT -8
Xaner brightened a bit, leading Yeowoo out to his car and unlocking it once they were close enough. "I have also heard about this ice cream cart, I think it's a great place to go." He replied simply. He gave Yeowoo a nod at the younger boy's last words, unsure if Yeowoo even saw it, but wanting to believe those words. He still felt like his mind was reeling as he got into the driver's seat. It wasn't anxiety though, it almost felt like excitement, and curiosity.
As they got to the beach, Xander lucked out on a parking spot near the beach, and turned off the car. "I think that food cart with the small crowd was our ice cream cart." He said, talking about the cart that was parked near the main walkway to the beach.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
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Dating Xander.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Jul 25, 2024 23:14:57 GMT -8
Yeowoo grinned, and he reached out to take Xander's hand to gently tow him towards the ice cream cart in excitement, "Let's get ice cream and then go walk on the beach."
He added more quietly, "It looks like there's people right in this area, but the parking isn't nearly full, so we'll have plenty of privacy down by the water."
He was nervous. None of his friends here knew about his health history much, about the IEP, all that, but mostly he was just happy to be spending time with just Xander and doing something that felt a tiny bit like a date. He'd been so happy to incorporate into Xander's friend group, and he'd gotten comfortable in Cedar Beach, but it was wild to have a crush he wasn't too terrified to flirt with casually.
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
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07/15/2004.
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Post by Xander Pace on Jul 26, 2024 13:19:37 GMT -8
Xander nodded in agreement and walked with Yeowoo to the line where the stand was. It looked like they had pretty simple flavors, though one that caught his eye, labeled "local favorite!" was a huckleberry sorbet that sounded nice and refreshing. He nudged Yeowoo softly, "do you know what flavor you want? I think I'm gonna go for the huckleberry." He tried to keep his mind preoccupied on ice cream. He'd never told anyone he had an IEP, even Yuki, who had been his best friend practically since he moved back to Cedar Beach, though they did know he had anxiety. It was weird to know he was going to talk about it, and also realized he had to decide how much of his past he was willing to disclose. By the time they were almost up to order, he decided he'd only share the relevant parts.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
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Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Jul 27, 2024 15:30:03 GMT -8
One thing that had been a huge relief for Yeowoo in Washington was how much places labeled common food allergens and restrictions. He was able to look over the flavors easily enough and figure out what should be safe without having to ask a bunch of questions. He told Xander, "The coconut base green tea ice cream looks awesome, so I'm going to get that in a cup."
The line was moving fairly quickly, and Yeowoo had plenty of spending money from his parents at the moment so he said, "This is on me," before giving his order and turning to let Xander give his.
Once he'd paid and the ice cream had been handed to them, he pointed towards the beach and said, "Let's go find a quiet spot."
He took a taste of his ice cream as they went and sighed, "It's so good, and a flavor that I like made so that it doesn't hurt me."
Once they were clear of most people, Yeowoo said tentatively, "So, I.E.P. stuff. I, well, it's not that I don't trust you guys, I just didn't want my stuff to be everyone's business the way it was at every other school I've been at, and I mean, I guess you get that since you were there too, and stuff. Um, I'm ok sharing with you about it, but I dont really want to tell people in general. About the I.E.P. or the reasons I have one."
He trailed off and glanced at Xander, trying to gauge what he thought.
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
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Post by Xander Pace on Jul 28, 2024 17:34:15 GMT -8
Xander had a moment where he thought about protesting Yeowoo paying for the ice cream, but instead he just muttered a "thanks." He took his ice cream, also muttering a thanks to the person serving ice cream, and followed Yeowoo to a quiet spot on the beach. He ate his ice cream until they were clear of most people. "Uh, same honestly. Even Yuki doesn't know, and they're my best friend." Xander said. "I'm okay telling you, as it will also affect our science class together..." He said, trailing off.
He cleared his throat, "I'll go first." He glanced to Yeowoo for a moment, to make sure there was no protest, and then looked back at the sand and continued, "Mine is for severe anxiety and PTSD... When I was brought to the U.S., it wasn't to live with my current family. It was a different family, who either hid that they were hoarders from the adoption agency, or hadn't started yet." He finished his ice cream and was playing with the spoon. "It got really bad by the time I was in kindergarten. My understanding is the house was full of bugs, but I don't really remember. The entire home had to be condemned, and we moved in with my at-the-time uncle and his family, and lived in their basement apartment. By second grade, when I had my current adopted mother as my teacher, the apartment was looking like the house, and I was taken from their custody and put into foster care." Xander fidgeted more, not even glancing at Yeowoo, there was a lot more to that part of the story, but it wasn't the main cause of his anxiety, "Ever since then, I can't be around serious clutter or bugs. I had a panic attack the first time I had a teacher who was messy, and had to have an immediate class transfer. It's gotten better, like, significantly. It probably helps I'm in a stable home now... But anyway, Mrs. Cooper has gotten really messy, and it's triggering my anxiety. I was supposed to have physics with her next year, and I can't." He finally glanced up to Yeowoo, nervous about what he'd say.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
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Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Jul 28, 2024 21:02:47 GMT -8
Yeowoo listened attentively to Xander's explanation. He reached out and gave Xander's hand a little squeeze and said, "That sounds really hard. I'm glad that you're in a stable place now, but if you need help with something in that class that I can help with for the rest of the year, even if it's like, asking Ms. Cooper if we can go work on our lab reports in the library or something, let me know OK?"
He hesitated and then asked, "Did that change your whole schedule around or will we still have math and Chinese together?"
He spotted a nice piece of driftwood for sitting on and pointed it out, leading Xander over to where they could both sit down to continue the conversation.
He said, "My turn I guess. Mine starts as a baby too, I was born premature like, really premature, closer to three months than two early. Spent a lot of the start of my life in the hospital, and I've got some pretty big health issues because of it, including a minor heart defect, really bad asthma, and pretty bad vision that ties into bad migraines and other headaches. Also a bunch of allergies. Not going into all the details, but like, I am considered to have done very well for how early I was, but just all the health stuff. The biggest parts of my IEP basically just have to do with managing health stuff, but it had to be an IEP and not a 504 because it changed my graduation requirements to not need PE."
He hesitated and then continued, "I spent a lot of my life being the sick little weakling who couldn't do stuff with other people, and it kind of sucked, so I was really happy to get here and realize that other people didn't have to know. It's not like when I was in elementary with most of my class and so they knew that I didn't get to do all these things."
He gave Xander a sort of awkward smile, remembering just then that his friend did sports, was very athletic. He was nervous, what if this made him lesser in Xander's eyes somehow.
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
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07/15/2004.
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Post by Xander Pace on Jul 29, 2024 16:35:29 GMT -8
Xander visibly relaxed at Yeowoo's comments, and appreciate the hand squeeze. He gave a tentative nod, "Yeah, uh... It'd be great if you could do that if you see me start getting like, anxious. I don't really know what my symptoms of anxiety look like, but I know they're obvious." He glanced to Yeowoo, looking at him as if to say, 'I know you noticed when we were in class.'
He shook his head, "It just gave me a free 5th, so in fact, if you want me to get us a snack or something I'll have extra free time." He said, only half joking, a smile coming to his face.
The smile slowly faded as Yeowoo told his side of the story. "That must have been hard growing up, and hell, even now." He gave Yeowoo's and a squeeze in a very similar manner that the other boy had done for him. Some things clicked into place that he had noticed about Yeowoo's habit, it made sense now if he had health problems he couldn't do some of those things. He noticed a shift in Yeowoo, as if just realizing something, and he tried to think of what it could be. "I'm not going to force you to play basketball with me or anything. That's what younger siblings are for." He said halfheartedly, hoping he had guessed correctly. "I'm perfectly fine finding other things to do than sports. I like spending time with you, and knowing about your health issues won't change that." He added.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
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Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Jul 30, 2024 2:00:56 GMT -8
Yeowoo grinned at the suggestion and said teasingly, "I guess I'll have to think of all sorts of errands to send you on when I'm taking all the difficult courses and you have a whole free period partway through the day. I will definitely demand snacks, especially since you will be a senior with off campus privileges."
Xander's entire reaction to his explanation made a confusing swell of emotions well up and come out as tears. He'd not realized just how much losing these friendships had scared him, but most of all Xander. He felt like he fit here. He muttered, "I'm going to hug you about that," before tossing his arms around Xander's neck, and continuing, "That is somehow the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me, and I like spending time with you too, and like, I'll come cheer for all your basketball games, and we can find things to do that will be fun and chill and we can both do."
Yeowoo let him go, blushing a little and turned his head away a little trying to complse himself. Suddenly an idea hit him, and he said, "Hey, you know what class is fifth period next year? Korean 1! You could actually learn a little Korean, I'd even like help you with homework if you needed it."
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
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07/15/2004.
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Post by Xander Pace on Jul 31, 2024 10:08:09 GMT -8
Xander was surprised by the hug, but reciprocated it, very lightly bringing his arms to Yeowoo's shoulders. "You better come to my basketball games." He joked lightly, his voice soft, "I'm on varsity next year, it takes work to get in, y'know." He said. Really, sports came naturally to him, so it didn't feel like work, but he also didn't skip practices because, unlike some of his JV teammates who didn't make it into varsity, he knew there was always new things to learn. He had no plans to be a professional athlete, but it was fun and something to do.
He looked over to Yeowoo at the sudden idea, and thought a moment. He never really thought about taking two languages. He just kind of figured he just needed to fulfill the language requirements to graduate. "Oh..." He said, looking away. It wasn't like he didn't want to learn Korean, but he often felt so detached from Korea that he forgot he was Korean. He looked up, it seemed like Yeowoo was expecting him to be enthusiastic about it. Really, he was more enthusiastic that Yeowoo would help him if he took the course, because it meant spending more time with Yeowoo. On the other hand, he was curious about Korea, and he'd finally be able to read his birth certificate if he took a course to learn Hangeul. He'd tried so many times on his own, only to give up, and then get more discouraged as people online called it "the easiest alphabet to learn," or other similar things that made him never want to try learning it. You'd think with learning to read Chinese, Hangeul would be a cakewalk... He thought to himself. "Mr. Lin teaches Korean 1 as well as Chinese, doesn't he? I guess I could take it. It would mean no snacks though." He said, joking at the last part. He would be a little sad to sacrifice his sleep/snack period for an optional class, but it would be a nice opportunity.
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UW Student (Class of 2028).
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Dating Xander.
09/01/2006.
17.
Dog (WA)
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Post by Yeowoo Eum on Jul 31, 2024 21:22:42 GMT -8
Yeowoo nodded, "Yeah, Mr. Lin teaches Korean 1 as well as Chinese."
He could tell Xander was uncertain about the idea, and he said softly, "No pressure OK? I think it would be cool for you to know more about that part of you, and like I'm happy to help share some of that with you, but I don't know how to teach someone a whole language. If you'd rather have down time though, I don't want to pressure you."
Yeowoo was very tempted to try to cuddle a little with them sitting close together on the driftwood, but he was still a little embarrassed from the emotional hug. He just shifted a little closer to Xander on the log and looked out at the water. "It's pretty here."
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Employee at Chinese Bakery.
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Post by Xander Pace on Jul 31, 2024 22:08:11 GMT -8
Xander was quiet for a moment, staring at the water, trying to put his feelings into words. He noticed Yeowoo shift, and leaned in closer, though not quite getting the nerve to put an arm around him. He nodded to the comment about the area, but stayed quiet for a bit longer.
"I am curious, y'know. I have my birth certificate, but I've never been able to read it. I guess these days they're printed in both Korean and English, but maybe it was the city I was born in or something, they didn't have the English. I don't know even know what my birth name was, all I know is the first family that adopted me felt it was too difficult to say. But I've grown up with a white family, with siblings from mixed backgrounds. I couldn't even begin to explain what it means to be Korean. It's something I want to know, but I was always scared of..." he lost his steam and looked down at the sand, digging his foot in, "I don't know. Being wrong. Or scared of people expecting more from me since I am Korean, like there's that expectation I should know my own heritage and language, and then they're disappointed when I don't." His chest ached airing out his concerns, it had been in his thoughts for as long as he could remember, and this was his first time speaking it to anyone. "I guess that's why Chinese always felt safer. There's no one expecting me to know it already." He paused. "But Mr. Lin has proven to be a good and understanding teacher. I think I'd be okay if I took it with him."
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