An Hayun (TW)
Feb 13, 2020 0:17:50 GMT -8
Post by An Hayun on Feb 13, 2020 0:17:50 GMT -8
[[TW - mentions of badly broken bones (incidental description), mention PTSD/Anxiety/Depression and their effects on her life]]
Face Claim: Kim Suyun (of Rocket Punch)
Hayun is 180 cm (5' 11") and slender (she had a growth spurt her final year in high school making her taller than all the members of Yuseong and only shorter than Seoji among the boy trainees). She has long, naturally black hair that she generally wears with bangs and often pulls up into a high ponytail, though she will sometimes also wear it in pigtails. She's got very dark brown eyes. She generally wears either long sleeves or bracelets (or both) because she doesn't like having the scars on her right wrist be super noticeable. These are scars from when she badly broke her wrist. She has pierced ears, and she likes wearing dangly earrings.
Hayun often presents an outwardly cheerful and buoyant personality, but she's easily affected emotionally by people around her and is actually quite sensitive in general. A lot of the presentation is just that, her trying to present herself as happier than she is and not let it show when things upset her.
Hayun hates giving up. Pretty much the only way that she will give up on a goal is when she finds a better goal to replace it, and that isn't something that she has an easy time with because she usually thinks through what she wants to do very carefully.
Hayun views the world through a hopeful lens. This has been a conscious decision on Hayun's part. When her life seemed like it was the most in shambles and she didn't know how to handle everything, she decided that she was going to work to see the best possible outcomes and try to work towards them. It's served her pretty well, and it's something that she's built a lot of her growth as a person around.
Hayun likes things that make her feel like she's making someone's life better, and things that keep her busy and engaged. She hate being bored and giving up. She is still very afraid of going out on the ice or anything where she feels her balance is very precarious because it tends to give her flashbacks. She hates that she's had to relearn how to do almost everything left handed, but she's grateful that at least she was actually somewhat naturally left handed to begin with and just learned to be right handed from a very young age because it was easier in her household growing up and in Korea. She has horrible handwriting though because she had to learn it all over again. It is getting better, but she definitely prefers doing things on the computer or her phone where people don't have to see her handwriting.
MOTHER
Name: Lee Sukja
Birth Year: 1973
Occupation: Professor at Seoul National University of Science and Technology, Department: Sports Science
Feelings Toward: Regretful, Frustrated. Her mom was the one who started her with figure skating and helped get her the best training and was so invested in how well she did. And Hayun did love it, and it was something they bonded over. They haven't quite figured out where they stand with each other since the accident.
FATHER
Name: An Hwanjun
Birth Year: 1979
Occupation: Professor at Seoul National University of Science and Technology, Department: Fine Arts
Feelings Toward: Love, Appreciation. He was her quiet support for most of her life, and when everything was falling apart, he was the one who put his foot down and took her to therapy and made sure that she knew that whatever she chose to pursue, it was OK. He encouraged her when she started expressing interest in new things. They're much closer now than they were when she was little.
OLDER BROTHER
Name: An Hajun
Birth Year: 1998
Occupation: majored in Bio-Chemistry at university, finished his military service late 2021, currently doing a masters degree in Bio-Chemical Engineering (should complete it in 2024)
Feelings Toward: They've never been very close. Hajun always carried their mother's academic expectations, and Hayun always carried their mother's athletic and artistic expectations. She was a little bit surprised that he sided with their dad about making sure that she went to therapy and was allowed to stop figure skating. He was one of the people who would take her to noraebang, and now that he is out of his military service, they see each other somewhat regularly and have been getting a little bit closer.
From a very young age, Hayun's entire life was figure skating. She started skating when she was three years old, and she got very good at it very quickly, making it into the national training program for her age range by the time she was in early elementary school. She grew up competing against and training with skaters who are now skating competitively on the international level. As far as Hayun knew, she was going to be one of those skaters by the time she was 13 (international age) and old enough to start skating in junior international competitions. She did well at several international novice competitions when she was 11 and 12, and did well at nationals and ranking competitions in Korea. She went to schools that were focused towards athletics, and her mother had crafted everything in her life around figure skating. Hayun loved the sport, the music, the artistry, the feeling of flying across the ice, and people cheering for her. She took dance classes from the age of five to help with the artistic side of things, and she'd done violin for a few years in elementary school because her mom had heard that having a stronger understanding of music helped. (That was when Hayun learned to read music.)
She started to grow rather dramatically at around age 12, making her shoot up to being the tallest (unusually tall) among the skaters at her level, and it somewhat destabilized her generally very good jumps. At the ranking event that would have given her international placements for her first junior season (in early 2016), the accident happened. During her short program, Hayun fell on a triple-lutz and landed strangely with her arm under her. She, and pretty much everyone in the stadium, heard the crunching sound, and she doesn't remember that much after looking down and seeing the sheer amount of blood and the fact that she could see the bones of her wrist in more than one place. It turned out that she'd broken a total of five bones in her right hand and wrist, and it took a total of three surgeries to put it back together. She was worried and frustrated that she was missing the possibility of her first junior season, and she was scared of what it would be like to go back. She felt like she was sort of losing her friends as they started what she should have been a part of too, but she still expected that it was probably just going to be a delay of a year.
She was off ice for eight months as it healed, and when she tried to go back out on the ice to train for the first time, she had a flashback and passed out. She kept trying for the next few months, and it just didn't get better. She and her mom got in several fights about it, and even more strange to her, she heard her dad get in a fight with her mom about the situation one evening. Not long after that, her father started taking her to see a therapist, and her attempts at returning to figure skating stopped. She was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety around the events and aftermath of the injury, and she ended up falling into a pretty severe depressive episode. She was 14, and she felt like her entire life had basically fallen apart and been ruined. She didn't leave her house for anything other than school, and barely left her room. She didn't want to do anything. She didn't think that she could do anything because the thing that she'd been good at, that she'd been meant to do, had been taken away from her, and it was mostly her own brain's fault.
During this time frame, she and her mother really really couldn't figure out how to communicate at all. Her father made sure that she made it to her appointments and did everything he could to get her out of the house and try to find things that she liked and had interest in. This was when she really started listening to music for anything other than programs. It had been suggested by her therapist, and with some trial and error, her therapist had set her loose on Kpop MVs because they were wildly far away from what she'd generally skated to, and sometimes, they managed to make her smile. It was actually her older brother who hit on the next thing that would actually get her to start leaving the house again. He and a girl he knew dragged her to noraebang (karaoke), and Hayun actually had fun. It ended up being something that she would do sometimes with her brother, and sometimes with her dad, and sometimes with the friends that she had from school and figure skating who had stuck around and still checked up on her.
At the recommendation of her therapist that she start doing some sort of exercise, and in an attempt to give her something familiar to do, her dad got her enrolled in dance classes again. She was relieved that dance was still fun, though she didn't push herself terribly hard. It did make her feel better though.
During this time frame, she started following Kpop pretty closely, and Yuseong was one of the groups that she actively followed. When Kangwan had to take his hiatus and then worked his way back to being with the group, she saw a lot of what had happened to her in his ability to bring himself back to things he loved. She had had to give up on her dreams of figure skating, but it helped her figure out that maybe she could have other dreams and make them work out for herself.
She'd not really ever thought of actually trying to do Kpop before the announcement of the Dreams Ent auditions happened, but she liked singing and she liked dancing and she liked performing, and she wanted something to pursue, and something that would get her away from being at the same high school that most of her former competitors went to, even if many of them were still her friends, it just hurt still that she wasn't doing what they were doing when she knew that if things had gone differently, she could have.
She auditioned for Dreams Ent, and to her pleased surprise, she was invited to the training camp. Her dad and therapist both immediately supported her trying because she clearly deeply cared and was motivated to try something new. Her mom wasn't thrilled, but she went along with it because for all that she was not happy with the direction things had gone, she did care for her daughter.
Hayun was placed into advanced dance (not really a surprise to her, she'd been dancing since she was 5) and advanced vocals (very much a surprise) at the training camp. When the trainers asked how much vocal training she had, and she told them none, they were shocked, and told her that her dancing was good enough, she should focus on vocals all through the camp, she was good enough to be a main vocal if she was this good with no training. Hayun was notably confused. She hadn't realized that she'd picked a hard song for her audition or that it turned out she had perfect pitch and a reliable, wide range. She'd just done singing because it was fun and for a good stretch of time, it had been one of the only things she could actively enjoy. The discovery that she was actually good at it, not just that she had a "nice voice" which she'd been told by people she'd gone singing with, helped a lot with building back up her confidence. On the recommendation of the trainers, she focused very heavily on vocals during the training camp, going into the vocals focused group for the final performances, but she was still really surprised when she got in. She transferred to SOPA after she was accepted into Dreams Ent (and had good enough grades that it was easy enough to do with the company's support), where she was a vocal major. She graduated in February 2022. She mostly focused on vocal training after she joined the trainees; however, once they debuted, she technically is also considered part of the dance line because of her experience in dance/figure skating, she shares the main vocal position in the group with Elena.
She started out a bit tentative with the other girls, and she relaxed first around Seojin because she appreciates that the slightly older girl is a skilled leader and is just really nice. After Shieon joined the company, the two of them became really close. She also bonded with Elena pretty quickly when she was added to the team last minute because they spent a lot of time together as the two main vocals. She debuted in June 2020 with JBN. She has grown slightly since debut, making her now the tallest debuted member of Dreams Ent (Seoji will change that once the boys eventually debut), and she's not quite sure how she feels about it.
AN HAYUN
N/A |
nineteen | May 5, 2003 |
Female | Unsure / Not Straight |
Sheep | Dreams Ent Idol, J.B.N. main vocal |
Dreams Ent Dorms (Seoul, South Korea), originally from Nowon-gu, Seoul, South Korea |
Appearance
Face Claim: Kim Suyun (of Rocket Punch)
Hayun is 180 cm (5' 11") and slender (she had a growth spurt her final year in high school making her taller than all the members of Yuseong and only shorter than Seoji among the boy trainees). She has long, naturally black hair that she generally wears with bangs and often pulls up into a high ponytail, though she will sometimes also wear it in pigtails. She's got very dark brown eyes. She generally wears either long sleeves or bracelets (or both) because she doesn't like having the scars on her right wrist be super noticeable. These are scars from when she badly broke her wrist. She has pierced ears, and she likes wearing dangly earrings.
Personality
Hayun often presents an outwardly cheerful and buoyant personality, but she's easily affected emotionally by people around her and is actually quite sensitive in general. A lot of the presentation is just that, her trying to present herself as happier than she is and not let it show when things upset her.
Hayun hates giving up. Pretty much the only way that she will give up on a goal is when she finds a better goal to replace it, and that isn't something that she has an easy time with because she usually thinks through what she wants to do very carefully.
Hayun views the world through a hopeful lens. This has been a conscious decision on Hayun's part. When her life seemed like it was the most in shambles and she didn't know how to handle everything, she decided that she was going to work to see the best possible outcomes and try to work towards them. It's served her pretty well, and it's something that she's built a lot of her growth as a person around.
Hayun likes things that make her feel like she's making someone's life better, and things that keep her busy and engaged. She hate being bored and giving up. She is still very afraid of going out on the ice or anything where she feels her balance is very precarious because it tends to give her flashbacks. She hates that she's had to relearn how to do almost everything left handed, but she's grateful that at least she was actually somewhat naturally left handed to begin with and just learned to be right handed from a very young age because it was easier in her household growing up and in Korea. She has horrible handwriting though because she had to learn it all over again. It is getting better, but she definitely prefers doing things on the computer or her phone where people don't have to see her handwriting.
Family
MOTHER
Name: Lee Sukja
Birth Year: 1973
Occupation: Professor at Seoul National University of Science and Technology, Department: Sports Science
Feelings Toward: Regretful, Frustrated. Her mom was the one who started her with figure skating and helped get her the best training and was so invested in how well she did. And Hayun did love it, and it was something they bonded over. They haven't quite figured out where they stand with each other since the accident.
FATHER
Name: An Hwanjun
Birth Year: 1979
Occupation: Professor at Seoul National University of Science and Technology, Department: Fine Arts
Feelings Toward: Love, Appreciation. He was her quiet support for most of her life, and when everything was falling apart, he was the one who put his foot down and took her to therapy and made sure that she knew that whatever she chose to pursue, it was OK. He encouraged her when she started expressing interest in new things. They're much closer now than they were when she was little.
OLDER BROTHER
Name: An Hajun
Birth Year: 1998
Occupation: majored in Bio-Chemistry at university, finished his military service late 2021, currently doing a masters degree in Bio-Chemical Engineering (should complete it in 2024)
Feelings Toward: They've never been very close. Hajun always carried their mother's academic expectations, and Hayun always carried their mother's athletic and artistic expectations. She was a little bit surprised that he sided with their dad about making sure that she went to therapy and was allowed to stop figure skating. He was one of the people who would take her to noraebang, and now that he is out of his military service, they see each other somewhat regularly and have been getting a little bit closer.
History
From a very young age, Hayun's entire life was figure skating. She started skating when she was three years old, and she got very good at it very quickly, making it into the national training program for her age range by the time she was in early elementary school. She grew up competing against and training with skaters who are now skating competitively on the international level. As far as Hayun knew, she was going to be one of those skaters by the time she was 13 (international age) and old enough to start skating in junior international competitions. She did well at several international novice competitions when she was 11 and 12, and did well at nationals and ranking competitions in Korea. She went to schools that were focused towards athletics, and her mother had crafted everything in her life around figure skating. Hayun loved the sport, the music, the artistry, the feeling of flying across the ice, and people cheering for her. She took dance classes from the age of five to help with the artistic side of things, and she'd done violin for a few years in elementary school because her mom had heard that having a stronger understanding of music helped. (That was when Hayun learned to read music.)
She started to grow rather dramatically at around age 12, making her shoot up to being the tallest (unusually tall) among the skaters at her level, and it somewhat destabilized her generally very good jumps. At the ranking event that would have given her international placements for her first junior season (in early 2016), the accident happened. During her short program, Hayun fell on a triple-lutz and landed strangely with her arm under her. She, and pretty much everyone in the stadium, heard the crunching sound, and she doesn't remember that much after looking down and seeing the sheer amount of blood and the fact that she could see the bones of her wrist in more than one place. It turned out that she'd broken a total of five bones in her right hand and wrist, and it took a total of three surgeries to put it back together. She was worried and frustrated that she was missing the possibility of her first junior season, and she was scared of what it would be like to go back. She felt like she was sort of losing her friends as they started what she should have been a part of too, but she still expected that it was probably just going to be a delay of a year.
She was off ice for eight months as it healed, and when she tried to go back out on the ice to train for the first time, she had a flashback and passed out. She kept trying for the next few months, and it just didn't get better. She and her mom got in several fights about it, and even more strange to her, she heard her dad get in a fight with her mom about the situation one evening. Not long after that, her father started taking her to see a therapist, and her attempts at returning to figure skating stopped. She was diagnosed with PTSD and anxiety around the events and aftermath of the injury, and she ended up falling into a pretty severe depressive episode. She was 14, and she felt like her entire life had basically fallen apart and been ruined. She didn't leave her house for anything other than school, and barely left her room. She didn't want to do anything. She didn't think that she could do anything because the thing that she'd been good at, that she'd been meant to do, had been taken away from her, and it was mostly her own brain's fault.
During this time frame, she and her mother really really couldn't figure out how to communicate at all. Her father made sure that she made it to her appointments and did everything he could to get her out of the house and try to find things that she liked and had interest in. This was when she really started listening to music for anything other than programs. It had been suggested by her therapist, and with some trial and error, her therapist had set her loose on Kpop MVs because they were wildly far away from what she'd generally skated to, and sometimes, they managed to make her smile. It was actually her older brother who hit on the next thing that would actually get her to start leaving the house again. He and a girl he knew dragged her to noraebang (karaoke), and Hayun actually had fun. It ended up being something that she would do sometimes with her brother, and sometimes with her dad, and sometimes with the friends that she had from school and figure skating who had stuck around and still checked up on her.
At the recommendation of her therapist that she start doing some sort of exercise, and in an attempt to give her something familiar to do, her dad got her enrolled in dance classes again. She was relieved that dance was still fun, though she didn't push herself terribly hard. It did make her feel better though.
During this time frame, she started following Kpop pretty closely, and Yuseong was one of the groups that she actively followed. When Kangwan had to take his hiatus and then worked his way back to being with the group, she saw a lot of what had happened to her in his ability to bring himself back to things he loved. She had had to give up on her dreams of figure skating, but it helped her figure out that maybe she could have other dreams and make them work out for herself.
She'd not really ever thought of actually trying to do Kpop before the announcement of the Dreams Ent auditions happened, but she liked singing and she liked dancing and she liked performing, and she wanted something to pursue, and something that would get her away from being at the same high school that most of her former competitors went to, even if many of them were still her friends, it just hurt still that she wasn't doing what they were doing when she knew that if things had gone differently, she could have.
She auditioned for Dreams Ent, and to her pleased surprise, she was invited to the training camp. Her dad and therapist both immediately supported her trying because she clearly deeply cared and was motivated to try something new. Her mom wasn't thrilled, but she went along with it because for all that she was not happy with the direction things had gone, she did care for her daughter.
Hayun was placed into advanced dance (not really a surprise to her, she'd been dancing since she was 5) and advanced vocals (very much a surprise) at the training camp. When the trainers asked how much vocal training she had, and she told them none, they were shocked, and told her that her dancing was good enough, she should focus on vocals all through the camp, she was good enough to be a main vocal if she was this good with no training. Hayun was notably confused. She hadn't realized that she'd picked a hard song for her audition or that it turned out she had perfect pitch and a reliable, wide range. She'd just done singing because it was fun and for a good stretch of time, it had been one of the only things she could actively enjoy. The discovery that she was actually good at it, not just that she had a "nice voice" which she'd been told by people she'd gone singing with, helped a lot with building back up her confidence. On the recommendation of the trainers, she focused very heavily on vocals during the training camp, going into the vocals focused group for the final performances, but she was still really surprised when she got in. She transferred to SOPA after she was accepted into Dreams Ent (and had good enough grades that it was easy enough to do with the company's support), where she was a vocal major. She graduated in February 2022. She mostly focused on vocal training after she joined the trainees; however, once they debuted, she technically is also considered part of the dance line because of her experience in dance/figure skating, she shares the main vocal position in the group with Elena.
She started out a bit tentative with the other girls, and she relaxed first around Seojin because she appreciates that the slightly older girl is a skilled leader and is just really nice. After Shieon joined the company, the two of them became really close. She also bonded with Elena pretty quickly when she was added to the team last minute because they spent a lot of time together as the two main vocals. She debuted in June 2020 with JBN. She has grown slightly since debut, making her now the tallest debuted member of Dreams Ent (Seoji will change that once the boys eventually debut), and she's not quite sure how she feels about it.
Member Information
Hello! My name is Etienne!
I was born in 1989.
My pronouns are he/him.
I was born in 1989.
My pronouns are he/him.
